The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.
-Buechner

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Fear Of The Dream

I had the privilege of running somewhere in the mid-ten thousands of miles with Matt and Steph the other day. Running out of Crofton, through Chemainus, and into Ladysmith was a jog I won't ever forget. Not only the company, the cyclist posse, but the conversation and inspiration was one-of-a-kind. (Sidenote: This was a great way to begin getting some extra mileage under my belt in time for Oct 11.)

And, there really is nothing like a pure, unhindered 7am conversation with a guy who has nearly completed a round North America tour over the past 51 weeks. Barriers down, adrenaline pumping Matt and I chewed on some awesome thoughts. We shared a bit of insight, encouraged and empathized with one another.

We discussed how, perhaps, neither one of us would have attempted the dreams we are fulfilling, had we not been somewhat blind to it's reality. For us both, the dream has morphed into what could only have been imagined. We are better people now, than we were only one year ago.
You see regardless of the dream, we never fully comprehend it's immenseness until we find ourselves at the heart of it. Once fully immersed in something much much bigger than us, we understand maybe a part of what we are becoming and how we got to this point. We then realize that the dream, our dream is so much more than just our being; our desire; our motivation.

The word inspirational has been thrown around here quite a bit lately. That was never the intention or the planned goal. And, simply stated: I. Am. Not. Desiring to do something small with a big heart was the objective - following where we felt led. Baby steps add up to a bigger picture and I think that is what is beginning to take form. It's exciting.

What's even more crazy is that, though this is our dream, we never realized it's size or impact until we began to change. It's incredible how choosing to open one door has a domino effect. We have now entered a room we'd never before dared to access, only to be in the centre of a place with dozens of other doors opening and inviting us in.

People we have met, lessons we have learned, experiences we never would have otherwise been exposed to are all because of a small dream, with big hearts.

Our adoption is about more than just the journey to a little girl, in a small yet beautiful, developing country. This is about more than just the end result.

This dream is about the little things...for me, it is about growing into a better person. It is about learning empathy, tragedy, love, happiness, faith, perseverance (!), patience, seeing fruition. It is about not giving up. It is about waiting and knowing that the end (meeting our daughter face-to-face) will actually only be the beginning.

Small stepping stones like yard sales, marathons, other fundraisers, rolling pennies that are "heaven sent" for Baby Keizer, blog posts...all these details are just that: Stepping Stones. They are growing us toward the dream.

One day at a time, we get closer.

I guess the Coles Notes version of this post is simply not to fear the dream.

Diving in head first may not be the way to go but...

Never

Ever

Fear

The Dream

What we will find on the other side of our personal Goliath is more than likely worth the fear. When looking back at The End and reflecting on life, the last thing any of us will ever do is regret what we did. Yet we will always regret not knowing what would have happened if we had simply followed our dreams.


No comments: