I empathize, as do many of us who have chosen adoption as a route to create and complete family. Though we have been blessed to give birth to two of our kids, this choice to follow a different path to family has been questioned many times over. Not by good friends and close family but by those who perhaps don't know us well, who are ignorant to the orphan crisis in the world, or who simply don't "get it".
I came across another phenomenal post, I believe, which articulates quite well what I (we) often feel while pursuing this rocky path along which we have been led. If you want to read it in it's entirety, head over here. Otherwise, I'll highlight that which hit home the most for me.
We are committed to life. For our entire marriage we have supported many pro life causes. But we always felt that if we were going to encourage unwed girls to give birth to their babies, then Christians should be in line to be ready to adopt those who would be given up. It was our way of “putting our money where our mouth was.
We are committed to the helpless and disadvantaged. James (1:27) makes it clear that one of the evidences of our faith is how we respond to the “affliction” of widows and orphans. Taking care of these two groups is time consuming, messy, and sacrificial. But it is a central part of the Christian life. We wanted to make sure that our family was heavily invested in this important admonition.
We are committed to the nations. Not everyone is called to international adoption but the result is a reminder of God’s love for every “nation and tribe and language and people.” (Rev. 14:6). Every week the Lord adds people to his church and tells you and I to love them. They may not look like us, smell like us, have the same socio-economic background as us, or talk like us. But that’s the beauty of the Gospel. Twice we have brought into our home children from another country and told our other kids, “they don’t talk like you or look like you, but here’s another one, love them.” It has been one of the biggest blessings in the whole process for us and has dramatically shaped our view of the whole world.
Maybe the next big decision in your life will involve a vacation house or a boat or a car that you don’t need. Maybe it will involve trying to sock away even more money for that early retirement you have been hoping for. It might even involve contributing to a monument or building with your name on it. Or just maybe it will involve an old elevator in another country with your mind in a whirl, your heart racing, adrenaline rushing, and your lungs struggling inexplicably for their next breath. And in making that decision, it might not even cross your mind that you already have kids.
So, when making the decision and following this path less chosen I would stand...I will stand...and say Adoption Isn't Secondary. Adoption is a choice. And, there is always a choice. It is a choice we made which has changed us. We look at things in a different light. We support things we never would have known of before. We are meeting people who are making us better people.
We are learning what it means to create family...first and foremost.