Is the word 'twenty-nine' even supposed to be hyphenated? I'm not sure. I'm also not sure I care to look it up. Usually ornery enough to want to inquire and see if spell-check is recommended, I can truthfully admit I never anticipated having to type the letters forming those above two words. I recall a family receiving a referral for a (requested) infant after just slightly longer than this wait and thinking naively, "I'm glad our range is more open than that". It was only a few short months ago that the thought (and referral!) took place...yet I'd give my left arm to know we were only a couple of weeks away from a call. The Call.
Yet we're not*. We are months from our call - at best. Of this I am certain. As of three weeks ago we were not matched and it was not anticipated that we would be at this point in time. It's a bit of a pill to swallow. Knowing that after nearly two and a half dozen months DTE, we still aren't matched. After increasing our age acceptance range, no difference (seemingly) was made. A few days short of three years marking the start of this journey, (ie: writing cheque number one) we are still feeling - though knowing in reality it is not true - as though we are at square one. (Okay so the royal "we" could mean "I" in this situation - some of "us" are more even-keeled and optimistic than others...just saying.)
Looking back does no good. Stagnating in the now and dwelling in the pity of it doesn't change anything either. Focusing forward whilst enjoying the here and now, (for we are all healthy, happy, blessed beyond measure, and looking forward to shared family moments just around the corner) is the only road to take. Pity, really, should not be an option or in the realm of thought.
Asking for much prayer. Hoping for a miracle in the form of a phone call - sooner than later - is the phenomenon to which we cling.
We enjoy the small moments - those glimpses of daily miracles we miss, simply because of their frequency. The bubbles blown, the tooth stain originally thought to be a cavity, the popsicle enjoyed on a snowy day, the reality of a statutory declaration not having to be paid twice over within a two week period- though an integral notary would not backdate a document, a merger which will increase the viability of a phenomenal agency which has risen from the ashes and who will now boast leadership in the form of an executive director. The list continues. (As do the run-on sentences, apparently.) These are moments on which we must focus...or else we lose our focus.
There you have it: thoughts at twenty-nine months. Hyphenated or not, here's to another month ahead...a month of prayer and joy, a month of movement and angels dancing.
*no, Imagine did not divulge that information directly to me. the source, however is as reliable as they come.