The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Post Entitled: I May Lose My Ever Loving Mind

Another snag.

Another setback.

Another hiccup, speed bump, sleeping policeman (did you know that's what they call them in England?), in the road - the journey.

I'd call it another "path less taken" but I think this path was deserted until now.

And so we wait longer (likely 4 weeks until any sort of movement) and we pray harder. (Could you, too?) Interesting - though not surprising, each time I ask for some sort of indication that this is truly the path we should follow, it is confirmed - hiccups and all.This morning was no different.

Yes, remain faithful.

Maintain confidence in what we cannot see.

Faith is a tough one, isn't it. I have come to realize - or believe - that it is a muscle we cannot ever stop exercising. It requires continual attention, love, care, attention, devotion.

Throughout a couple days of combined bliss through someone else's joy, coupled with the reminder of our ever-continued wait, I was (silently) counselled that indeed this is our path, our journey, our intended direction.

Seeking distraction, a change in pace and routine, and a desire to remain peaceful (amidst the 2 day headache which yes, has been named - though it doesn't need to be made known), we threw a delightful wrench into our daily tea time.

Yes, that's right: two small boys and daily tea. Often "guzzled", we take these few minutes together each and every late afternoon. And, if the time nears and the words have not yet been spoken, one small now-four-year-old reminds, "Mama!! We forgot tea!". It is a daily indulgence which is close to our hearts. Not originally intended to take on such importance, I truly cannot recall the reason it was birthed. But it is here now and I suspect it will remain for years to come.

It is ours.

It is lovely.

Often this burst of calm between the barrage of winter bickering, take place between periods of little boy hockey, soccer (yes both indoor), colouring and puzzle making. Yesterday, we needed a change.

So we took it outside.

Filling tumblers and sipping as we walked in the beauty of the sun.

Tea was taken outside in the chilly sun of the late afternoon.

And the attempt not to lose my ever loving mind while following this deserted, yet faith-filled path of ours was if nothing else, temporarily successful.


shannon said...

HI Ashleigh,
Well loved your tea outside photo it did make me smile I was wondering about the latest "speed bump"
Your post left me a bit lost , well I so understand the pain of waiting that was clear, I was just wondering about the new four week delay ?
also wanted to say you can email me any time if you need to talk to someone who really does get it

Keerstin said...

What a beautiful strong woman you are dear Ashleigh

Ashleigh, Ben, Noah and Tait said...

shannon...i don't have your pm :)

FTD said...

My dear faithful friend,
As I think of your post title, the words all blend together (as though I can hear you saying them through a clenched smile ;).
"Ever loving" ....that describes your heart as well :)
So although you may feel you're losing your mind - your "ever loving" heart is I'm sure stronger than ever :)

And rest assured - for"ever loving" is our God :)
Sending you love and prayers xxoo