Adoption 101

Throughout our adoption journey we have spoken with many many people and have answered many many many questions! (Inappropriate) Adoptive terminology that I wouldn't necessarily have thought about in the past is now a pet peeve of mine. I am often engaged in a conversation with a friend or acquaintance about our experience and questions come up that are worded so inappropriately. I realize this is just something that I have learned and that there is no reason others should have a grasp of many of the concepts but let's consider this Adoption 101. (Some of these will be serious, others may make you chuckle!) They haven't all specifically been asked to us, but they float around out there, I assure you...

1 - Will our Ethiopian daughter be: real natural biological ?

• None of the above, she'll actually be a figment of our imagination.
  
• (Seriously: She will be our real daughter. Noah and Tait are our biological children. She will also be our adopted child...just as Noah and Tait are our biological children...but, why is adoption not natural? Adoption is legally binding so just as our biological children cannot be returned, neither will our Ethiopian child. So please, when you are referring to any of our children, you can consider them all natural & very real.)
  

2 - Will she be your daughter?

• No, we figured we would get her from the Rent-A-Kid Centre in town.

3 - How much did she cost?

• Well, we've had to sell Ben's legs...he should get his prosthesis sometime next month. They wanted mine too, until they realized my height problem.
  
• (Seriously: she is not costing anything. We are not paying a cent for her - though her life is priceless - it's the legal fees that accrue quite nicely.)

4 - Where are you getting her from?

• Aisle 3 at Toys'R'Us. They're having a great sale right now. Geesh!
  
• (Seriously: She was born in Ethiopia.)

5 - Where will she sleep if you only have 3 rooms?

• Heck, the basement's big.
  

6 - Can you pick the one you want?

• Yes, I actually grabbed the Toys'R'Us catalogue last week so I knew which one to pick up when I head down aisle 3.
• (Seriously: There is a very structured "matching" system at the orphanage...hence our 3 month homestudy. Families are matched with children by age, personality, health concerns, family history.)

7 - Where are her parents?

• Uh, Oprah hasn't revealed who the mailman is yet. Maybe Maury can help investigate.
• (Seriously: We may or may not have the privilege of meeting one or both of her birth parents when we go to Ethiopia.)

8 - Will she have anything contagious that she could give to my kids?

• Yes, I would suspect she will have Intelligence, Inner Beauty, Incredible Heritage.
  
• (Seriously: We don't know what her health status will be. We are praying for a child who is as healthy as possible. Just as we had no idea what the health status of our biological children would be, prior to their births.)

9 - How long does it take to get one?

• We opted to use DHL, so we're hoping they follow through and ship her Express Int'l. Our other option was "Eeni, Meeni, Mieni, Mo" at a sketchy hotel in a city who's name we couldn't pronounce, but we figured DHL is pretty reputable.
  
• (Seriously: Our dossier has been in the orphanage now for a couple of weeks. Wait time for a match is usually 6 months and then once we accept our match we will wait another 3-6 months for court dates, visas, etc.)