The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.
-Buechner

Saturday, October 25, 2008

For The Thousandth Time

We all experience those "once in a lifetime" happenings. The ones we talk about over and over. The ones that have us in stitches of laughter, sobbing in tears, or just in reminiscing mode. These monumental events and happenings are the ones we believe help shape us into the people we have become...or are becoming. They are those little dots on the time-line of our life.
  • We are more vulnerable because...
  • We are more sincere because...
  • We gossip less because...
  • We place more value on friendship (whether family or friends) because...
  • We take more time to play outside with our kids because...
  • We spend less time focusing on the mess of the house and more time focusing on the play that made it such a disaster because...
  • We pursue more meaning in our life because...
Part of the application and preparation process for the homestudy part of our adoption was to complete an exercise such as this. "Draw a line on a blank sheet of paper and indicate important events with a dot to mark where they occured in our life."

A Dot.

The important events, those that formed us into the (potential) parents the adoption agency and social worker were looking to find, were denoted by several dots. Events such as the death of our grand-parents, the birth of our children, major moves, completing a 1/2 marathon, marriage; these events were to be represented by a mark on a blank sheet of paper. Honestly, I found this a challenging exercise, simple though it may sound. I don't actually believe that these monumental events in my life are the ones that have played the role of shaping me. I think it is the culmination of the little things. Sure the big events are important and necessary but I don't think they, in any way replace all those little "things" that manifest.

The weather in our area has been beautiful over the past couple of weeks. Sun shining, blue skies, warm-ish weather. The boys have asked on several mornings, if we can go to the dog park. This is a piece of grassy land, an off-leash dog park located behind our house which separates us from the camp. I am one who can't handle the thought of being cooped up all day with stir crazy children...(it only makes me a stir crazy Mum). So, whenever they make the request I am more than happy to oblige.

Shoes on. Jacket on. Vest on. (Not cold enough for the tuque yet.) Up we trek (more like saunter) to the dog park. Tennis ball and foot balls in hand, dog leading the way...up we make our way.

We open the gate and enter the wide open space, (as if everywhere isn't wide open space around here). The pup runs, Noah throws his tennis ball and chases after it, and Tait sweetly works on his running-while-simultaneously-throwing-the-football technique. I love this. All of it.


Now understand, we either walk through or past the park at least 4 times a day through the summer and at least once or twice weekly throughout the rest of the year. We know it well. We even take it for granted most of the time.


Today, however, Noah suddenly looked over to a set of 2 tall cedar trees clustered together and surrounded by tall, dry grass. They grow pretty much in the middle of the park...a little off to one side, but they stand alone.

Look Mama!! Look at those tall trees...look, Tait! Can we go over there?!

Of course I reply yes. And we play for almost an hour.

And the next day.

And the one after that.

Three days in a row we played around and in these 2 tall trees and this tall, hay-looking grass. Trees decades old are suddenly discovered. They've always been there. They've not grown taller since the last time we were at the park. They've not been transplanted over the past week. But they had always blended in with the rest of the scenery. Until this one day last week. They are huge. How could he have missed them until now?

But I think we do that a lot. We see these big things daily but they become so commonplace, so small, that we don't notice them for the other happenings around us. And inevitably, they pass by us, all the while morphing us. Yet, we don't even take notice. These giant "trees" stand tall in front of us and we can't even see them for the busyness, the activity, and the stuff with which we surround ourselves.

Lately - since that "tree epiphany"- I have been looking, seeking even, for those tall, steadfast trees in my life...

...finding out what makes me, Me.

2 comments:

Pops said...

Ash - All your blogs (~such a bland word for such beautiful prose~) are so thoughtfully composed. They're a wonder way to watch you (all!) grow. I can hardly wait for the next...and the next....

Pops

sharona said...

i love this post.....thank you