The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

On Being Thankful

I debated posting something Thanksgiving-ish. Life has seemed a little bleak over the past little while:
  • About 2 weeks ago, Ben's wedding ring was lost/stolen. It's good and gone, we're quite sure.
  • About 1 week ago the charger to our (really great) baby monitor went missing, ah hem...was misplaced. I'm not blaming anyone, (you know who you are - little people). Now, this may not seem like a big deal but it was a really nice one and a gift from special friends when Noah was born. (I also loath buying anything not really needed, but with another one on the way sometime in the not-so-distant future, it was necessary. We went cheap.)
  • In less than 2 days a friend whom I have come to love, to confide in, and whose friendship I have found much depth in, will be gone. This kind of friendship isn't one I seek out often, or take lightly. The boys will also be saying good-bye to their very good childhood friends.
And while some of this may seem trivial, superficial, and materialistic to many, it is my life. After a not-so-stellar long weekend, (though it was filled with some great moments with friends!) a couple of thought-filled morning runs, one very thoughtful and thought-provoking message from a friend (thank you, CM), I have come almost full circle and tried to give myself a kick in the butt...fill the glass until it is half full..instead of draining it until it is half empty...and have realized that I am truly blessed.

Yesterday, I was thinking this "thankful" thing over while working my way through five loads of laundry.

Urgh. I hate doing that much laundry. I try to keep it to three loads a week, sometimes four...done all in one day so it doesn't bog me down. Then I got to thinking: we have enough clothes that I can do five loads of laundry, and there is still enough upstairs to dress for several more days. Glass half full.

I've been pretty down about our friends moving on Friday. The lump-in-your-throat kind of down. I'm not sure if I get more upset about the thought of me not having that incredible friendship just around the corner, or the thought that the boys are losing their two favourite partners in crime. Then I got to thinking; How blessed have we been to have this family in our lives. How changed am I for having experienced this friendship for the past year and a half. How much better am I, for having known these people?! Glass half full.

Then, as I listened to the screams of our children - not necessarily the happy, joyful screams but more the (ah hem) "brotherly love" screams - in the background while doing those five loads of laundry, I got to thinking: At least they love each other enough to fight. At least they are healthy enough, agile enough, strong enough, and resilient enough to fight. And how blessed are we to have been able to have two children? We know all too well that there are hundreds of loving couples in the world pouring thousands of dollars into the hope and idea of having just one child. There is a dress hanging in the bedroom window constantly reminding me of our third child...either near birth or just born. We will be parents again. We will have the privilege and responsibility of raising another human being. Glass half full.

So here I sit. Seeking the blessings and the silver lining that we sometimes miss in the disappointments and short comings of our lives. I am reminded that we're going to be let down. Life is not fair. Yet, I am also reminded that everything I have and everything that I am is a product of ups and downs in life. It is the stormy days that grow our souls, that bring out our "true colours", that teach us. There are clear skies after storms.

I will wait this one out. Be thankful for what it is teaching me, for what He is teaching me...for how I am growing. I hope the moments of despair, the days of elation, and the hours in between mold me into a better human being.

And through these times, trials, I will look forward to a Clear Sky.

I will be Thankful.

(Noah and Tait are also thankful for the "little things".)

1 comment:

Lola said...

It makes me cry to see Anna Kates hand in Noah's. They are so pure and precious in their love.

Sometimes the overwhelming reality of what's to come scares me and to be honest I want to just get it over with so I don't have to feel so much. But what huge loves I would have missed if we never would have come and I'm growing to realize that it isn't distance that has maintained or ruined any of my friendships. You are my friend wherever I am and with you I will celebrate the "birth" of your new baby and the life that you will continue to live without me in the double wide, even from Alberta. You are only a phone call, email, blog, or occasional flight away and just so you know (I'm lousy at saying things in person... to apt to cry) what we have formed is not something I take lightly or will discard ever. My faults or many but I trust that you have seen a bit of who I strive to be and that is all I can ask for. If for nothing, God has brought us here for me to meet your family and to love on your boys.