The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.
-Buechner

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

It's Just That There's Nothing To Say

I want to post.

I want to write a good long truth-filled, anticipatory-emanating novel on this here page. But truthfully I don't have much to say.

Not in a bad way.

Not in a good way.

There's just nothing to say - though there is much going on.

Life's going along day by day. Field triping and preschooling and summer prepping and furniture redoing, and living. Lots of living. Laughing. Much praying. Yes, there has been lots of that.

But adoption-wise, journey-wise it's been as silent as the night. That's hard.

As a certain four year old sings random words in the background about, "if you live in Ethiopia...and you want to ride in Ethiopia...then hop on and we'll take you there...it's the mission of the day", as he plays with his recently created chick (or is it a duck?) craft...it's difficult not to wonder: When Lord?

Oddly, as one gets (seemingly) closer to a referral the wait is immensely and intensely more difficult. One realizes quickly that life must continue. Feeling tied to a phone, (whether a landline or a cell) and being loyal to that inanimate doesn't make the call come faster.

And, though crucial and critical and necessary, prayer doesn't even make it faster. It will happen in due course. In His time.

This is a very hard pill to swallow.

But, one must also be reminded that it is all truly in God's time. She's not ready yet. He's not done preparing her. Respect and reverence for the Lord's timing - yes, these are lessons set forth each and every day. Learned and re-learned.

And so, until then - until that very moment - we will continue to live as four. Happy and content as four. Embracing the laughter, the odd four-year-old singing, and the pace of our days.

We also continue to pray fervently that soon, there will be much much more than "there's nothing to say".

4 comments:

BCMommy said...

I hear ya...see my recent post on boredom.....

sigh

Claire

elsie hiebert said...

I remember when it got closer, it was so much harder. I don't even know if I have good advice. Keep busy with your 2 cuties.

Anna said...

If you're feeling that it's getting that much harder, then it has be to be that much closer!! I can't wait to hear when you have something exciting to say! What a day of rejoicing that will be! Hang in there and keep trusting in His perfect timing.

shannon said...

HI
So funny I saw this post today as I was standing at the kitchen counter waiting for my coffee this am and the thought that crossed my mind was Ashleigh must be finding this part so so hard and .....
Well I wish you courage in the days to come and hope time has a way of not leaving you too stressed and once you are passed this part the stress moves along to being my turn , which I must say does scare me , I am able to relax a little bit now knowing you are first.
Thinking of you
Shannon