The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Get Me The Heck Out Of Dodge

I am not even about to horrify you with the graphic depiction and mental image of what went on around here this past weekend...this past week. Ups and downs...lots of ups (as in up-chucking), and downs (as in small child weight loss due to more than "just" the flu) and a whole stinkin' bunch of in betweens.

{a calorie packing tactic...milkshakes on a the middle of the day...any colour they wanted}

I believe I was pushed to a melting point and relieved just moments before it actually occurred.

And then more. Of a different know, from the journey.

This. journey.

I often wonder how much more we can take. How many more ups and downs of the roller coaster. How many more twisty turns that leave your stomach in your throat. How much longer to claim, "but we are so so so close".

I wonder.

Where will we be in a month, in two months, in a half dozen.

I know for certain that without this thing we call f.a.i.t.h., we'd be dead in the water.

I am assured of the path - this path - from time to time when I catch a glimpse of His sovereignty. The details we never could have anticipated to have mattered two or three years ago are now the difference between still "being in this thing" or simply put: Not.

There are moments of which I am ashamed as I feel my faith is weak and I'm not trusting enough. Those moments are countered with the realization that if this faith of mine, of ours, did not exist, we would have thrown in the towel long ago.

There's a fine balance though, isn't there? Between being faithful to stay on course and wondering if the journey was in fact the lesson.

We continue to experience enough gentle taps to the heart and moments that "could only be His doing" to know that we are being obedient.

And we will continue to listen.

Between the journey of our small family and the journey hiccup-filled (some hiccups such as this, awaiting confirmation!) towards our fifth member, it's been rocky these past many days. There've been many moments we have felt on the brink of sanity.

It won't be long now. We will be getting the heck out of least for a short while. Days are numbered. We cannot wait.

As for the unconfirmed threats, please please pray. We truly are so close to her.

1 comment:

darci said...

"wondering if the journey was in fact the lesson"...I hear you. Lord, keep our faith strong, has been my prayer, whatever the outcome. Praying for you, too. darci