The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.
-Buechner

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Don't Know What You've Got Until It's (Almost) Gone

It nearly happened.

Our dream...this little family's journey...it was nearly gone. Not permanently, but for a time.

The roller-coaster almost had us. Call it exhaustion. Call it evil. Call it plain old near quitting time. We were about done in.

And so, unified, we walked into our agency. Words planned, hearts in line, thoughts congruent.

And we spoke.

And we were supported.

And we left.

And it was not okay.

We nearly lost our way. It was an intentional, well-thought out, well communicated desire until it took on a form we had not anticipated - once voiced to a third party.

And we were blessed by timing.

And now we feel grateful.

You see, you don't truly know what you (could) have until you've (nearly) lost it. Weary from waiting. Jaded by parts of the process. Fatigued by the unknown. We could have allowed it to slip away.

We're back. From a different perspective the wait is okay. From this perch, holding on a wee bit longer doesn't hold such a painstaking corner in this antiquated heart. It - the journey - is unchanged in many ways but it hasn't been stolen. Nor have we let it slip away. It's still within arms' reach.

So we will continue to wait. Patiently some days...not so on others.

We will wait.

This fight. The one for our child: it's not over. It won't be over until we win.

And we will win.

Because good always presides over evil.

Because until you believe in something greater than yourself, you can never achieve things greater than yourself.

And this is so so very much greater than us.

So we're off. For a break. Much needed after such illness, concussion, more illness and then the drama of...well...you know, followed by (or is it coupled with?) - you guessed it - more illness.

Daily photo digests are likely to ensue...and if a pertinent update is necessary, words too shall follow.

Until then, be thankful for the journey - as wrought with anguish and frustration, highs and lows, smiles and tears, elation and frustrations as it may be. Be thankful.

No one ever claimed it would be easy.

No, they certainly did not.

...Weeping may endure for a night,
but joy comes in the morning.
Psalm 30:5



6 comments:

Papa/Grandpa said...

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. - Thomas Edison.

Yours Truly said...

We give thanks to God always for all of you, making mention of you in our prayers; constantly bearing in mind your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

~ The Leipprandts
1 Thess 1:2-3

Joy and Geoff said...

Well I understand the wait, and the difficulty of knowing when to hold on, and when to move on. Praying for peace and patience for you during whatever time remains in the holding pattern...

Jennifer said...

Be strong, and continue to pray for Strength! Everything happens in God's timing--painful enough to hear, and we don't understand it, we may never understand until we stand in front of God Himself!-But God Himself is looking out for us, and He does want us to be happy, and not suffer--keep the faith Ashleigh! I'm backing you up all the way!!

Anna said...

His mercies are new every morning! It's been quite the roller coaster ride. I will pray for peace for you. Hang on strong to the love of God; He will give you what you stand in need of.

Gwen said...

I'm glad you're still here. :)