Down and, well, not Out but...you know...I prayed that I would see something, hear anything that would be an obvious "yes, Ashleigh this is your journey...the one for which you were pre-destined" answer.
A couple of hours ago, a referral was given. Not ours. One that, while it affects us it doesn't affect us at the same time. Several months ago, many families requesting siblings also added their names to the list of those of us requesting singles. Several of them have had files in Ethiopia since early 2008, which therefore places them ahead of us on "the list". We don't know who they are and what their requests are for, as they aren't on any list we can see.
I wasn't aware of this referral request but it was for a family who did just this. When they decided to place their name on the singles list, they requested either gender between the age of 0-9mths. Their referral just a few hours ago was for a baby girl who was born in March.
I don't think it gets too much more obvious.
I still feel this is a battle. I still feel exhausted. My heart doesn't leap anymore when I read the words referral. There is joy. Oh, is there ever joy. But the excitement which one would inevitably anticipate, no longer comes. The fear of yet another hurdle lurks in the shadows.
So continue to pray.
Because, our God speaks and moves and performs millions of miracles daily.
But I am a simple follower.
Faithful though not always confident, bold, or strong enough to stand strong in it alone.
Here's to dozens more.
Referrals for girls and boys.
Referrals for babies and toddlers and small children alike.
Here's to a battle fought.
Here's to a battle being won.
One small soul at a time.
(Apparently I'm back into blogging...)