"The most perfect parents are those who do not yet have children"
They would never fall in the water, once we have reminded them over and over not to get to close to the edge.
Dog-piling would not be appropriate. We would never even contemplate teaching them not to maul siblings.
Our kids even clean up after themselves when they have the flu, so no need to lift a finger in that department.
I did, however, come across this article the other day...it may give some credit where credit is due.
I love the truth in that phrase. It seems all us mothers do is lounge around in our sweats all day, enjoying our Soaps, snacking whenever we please, cleaning if the whim strikes, and watching as our children play so sweetly together - not fighting for a moment.
They are polite - and manners were all self-taught.
They would never fall in the water, once we have reminded them over and over not to get to close to the edge.
Dog-piling would not be appropriate. We would never even contemplate teaching them not to maul siblings.
Our kids even clean up after themselves when they have the flu, so no need to lift a finger in that department.
I did, however, come across this article the other day...it may give some credit where credit is due.TELL ME ABOUT IT ®
Dear Carolyn:
Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .
Okay. I've done Internet searches, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them EVERY DAY. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail? I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events) and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy -- not a bad thing at all -- but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a peeing contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.From Tacoma, Wash.
Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying or competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything -- language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity. Empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy, and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend, a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends, or marvel how much more productively she uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand or keep your snit to yourself.
By Carolyn Hax
Wednesday, May 23, 2007; Page C10
Wednesday, May 23, 2007; Page C10
...I'm just sayin'...
3 comments:
I love the article!
Your kiddos are so cute!!!!
Claire
The article only covers the GOOD day, there is no mention of the sleepless nights and early mornings and trips to the doctor or looking after them when they are scared concerned or sick.
The good news is that those who have been there understand.
...we are some of those "child-free folks" - but definetly don't believe that "parenting is the easiest job ever." Although we've never been there, we always try to make a sincere attempt at understanding the joys and challenges of a 'child-filled' life...
I also want to disagree with that quote "the most perfect parents are those who do not yet have children" ... because I think you and Ben are the most perfect parents, who have the most delightful children :)
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