The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.
-Buechner

Monday, February 23, 2009

FIVE. Beautiful. Wonderful. FIVE.

Today marks Five Months into our wait.

We are one day, one week, one month closer to our referral. While I don't have a sweet clue when we will see our sweet girl's face...I know we are closer, nonetheless. I feel hopeful. I feel an unexplainable joy. I feel confident in what lies ahead, knowing that life is pretty great right now and I am certain it will do nothing but get better from here.

I recall thinking that a proposal would be an incredibly perfect way to celebrate our 6th anniversary...just around the corner.

I remember thinking that five or six months seemed like an eternity. Yet, it has passed quickly...as time does with kids running around.

And while I still wonder every morning what it will feel like to actually see her face - Ten fingers. Ten toes. Chocolate Skin. Big Saucer Eyes...staring at me. - I am holding on and doing ok.

I am perfecting the art of self-talk, I have told many friends lately. I used to consider myself a fairly impatient person. I would suggest I have grown in this area of my life. Knowing that I have zero control in the matter, I can do nothing but relish in wonders of life with a 2 and a 3 yr old. (Remember my half-full glass?) I don't want to wish it away for something new. I don't want to miss the new words, idioms, activities, and wonders that accompany any new stage in our kids' development. (How textbook did that sound?!)

Five months is big to me. I feel as though we've been climbing a mountain. The Peak is in sight. We're almost there. The run down the hill will fly by compared to the climb. And at the bottom, a referral (picture) will wait. We don't know how long the rest of the climb or descent will take but in the grand scheme, I am certain will be here before I know it.

Five is good.

After Five we need only make it through one Spring season...riddled with Guest Group Rentals...I'm sure we will both be busier than one armed bandits. Following the Spring the Summer will pass with the blink of an eye. Ten weeks of 350 kids will seem like a dream at the end. I know there will be long hours. I'm not trying to be an unrealistic daydreamer. I also know at the end of each summer we say to one another, "Wow, it's done already".

Though the end of the journey is always at the back of my mind, I won't ever wish our days away. If I were to wish them away, I might miss something like this:


video

3 comments:

Jana said...

Ashleigh, how long is your projected wait?

It feels good to put a chunk of months behind you doesn't it? It's a real accomplishment!!

John and Andrea said...

Ashleigh, it's official, you have the cutest kids :) LOVE IT.

sarah said...

five months already? hopefully your referral will come quickly and you'll have a completed family soon. :)