Four

Well, if you've been following along over the past many months you may know that "Four" is the number of months our dossier has now been sitting the birth country of our daughter. Unknown. Unidentified to us. Not yet legal in the eyes of the Ethiopian or Canadian laws. But, our daughter is there. God knows who she is. Truly.

These months are bitter sweet. As we gain steps in the path towards our next child, we see our two boys growing up. I recall looking ahead in September when our dossier arrived in Addis and thinking that this 4 month mark would mean Tait would be nearing his 2nd birthday. Yikes. It would mean Noah would be well past his 3 1/2 yr mark. Where does the time go?!

And yet, these one month markers are significant to us in so many exciting ways. According to original suggestions, we are two-thirds through our Referral-Waiting period. In light of more recent emails from our agency, this date could mark our actual half way point, in the Referral-Waiting period. We'll see.

A couple of weeks ago the Ethiopian Government brought in some new changes to the Ethiopian court system which lay heavy on our hearts. Things have slowed from a legal perspective. Ethiopia is now the most popular country on the globe, from which to adopt. (Adoption popularized in Ethiopia has actually been termed The Angelina Jolie Effect. Now we only need like a hundred more kids and a bazillion more dollars and we'll be clones.)

I think it's significant that a government is concerned enough about it's children and it's 4.5 million orphans that measures are continually being taken to care for them. After we bring our daughter home, we will have 3 follow-up reports with a social worker...these are a 2 months after arriving home, and 12 & 15 months following the Ethiopian court decision. After this, the Ethiopian government requires annual reports (with a dozen photos) until our child reaches the age of 18. Pretty incredible, huh. Slightly intimidating, yet incredibly thorough.

Back to the courts. Adoptions which, up until 2 weeks ago, would take only 1 court hearing to process are now taking 2, 3, and sometimes 4 hearings! (If you're following closely this means more waiting.)

Six months to a year ago, an adoption file would be placed into court, following the acceptance of a child referral, and the file would be heard within 2-4 weeks. At that time a Kebele certificate (from the Municipal Government office) and a supporting letter from the Ministry of Women’s Affairs was all that was required in order for the Judge to sign off on an adoption file once the biological mother had given her written and verbal consent. This process was fairly quick and easy to complete, the Kebele document was within the agency’s possession, and most times a file would be finalized within the first court appearance.

It is important to note that over the past few months, and more specifically over the past couple of weeks, new directives have been issued by the Ministry of Women’s Affairs which now call for the involvement of various other levels of government in the adoption process.[...]

[...]The Ministry of Justice has stopped issuing new licenses to both orphanages wishing to open care centres that place children for adoption, as well as new international adoption agencies looking to become licensed to work in the country of Ethiopia, in an effort to maintain control over the number of children that are being placed for adoption, and in order to maintain high ethical standards.

Further to this, the Ministry of Women’s Affairs has now called for the input of documentation and involvement of Regional Court Offices, Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs offices (both Regionally as well as Federally) and local municipal Kebele offices, before a supporting letter for an adoption will be written.[...]

[...]What complicates the process further is that the biological family must give verbal consent before a regional Judge, in order to obtain the first local court decision, and is often required to re-appear in Addis to give consent Federally before the Federal Court Judge. Should the biological family not appear at one of these hearings, the process cannot be heard, and the file must be set over to another hearing. If the biological family does not appear regionally then the regional hearing will be postponed until a proper police certificate can be obtained declaring the child abandoned.

It is important to note that these new documentation policies are not being grand-fathered in.

They are effective immediately, regardless of where a particular file is in process. This is causing delays in court already.

It is also important to note that we are not in control. It is crucial to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel; there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow - a huge one; miracles do happen...they happen daily.

So, to help pass the time (now that my house is pretty much spotless) I have purchased a book that I can't wait to read. It should arrive any day. It's hot off the press and purchased the day it went publicly for sale. An adoptive couple from the states open their lives and share with the rest of us, what this roller coaster of a ride can entail. It is getting rave reviews.

I Can't Wait.

Enjoy this little intro...if you thirst for more, I will happily lend you the book when I'm done.

T.S. Eliot once wrote:

These are only hints and guesses,
Hints followed by guesses; and the rest
Is prayer, observance, discipline, thought and action.

Our story mirrors Eliot’s understanding of spirituality and faith. Through our entire journey, Amy and I have wobbled along on tentative legs as we have tried to wisely guess and prayerfully discern the voice that more often than not speaks to us in whispers and in shadows.

Specifically, this is the story of ashes. For us, our ashes correspond to our battles with barrenness. Studies show that one - third of the time, infertility involves the female. One-third of the time, it involves the male. Another one-third involves mystery. Three-thirds of the time, though, infertility involves deep heartache and pain. Amy and I know this firsthand.

This is also the story of Africa. For us, our story involves falling in love with and feeling God’s heart for a continent and people, where beauty and tragedy, wealth and poverty, and humanity and sub-humanity coexist in a jagged tension. Stepping into this world of interlocking realities felt like a baptism of sorts, whereupon returning to Oklahoma, we have been challenged and inspired to rethink and redo everything from our relationship with God, to church and community,to our understanding of missions and God’s future dreams for the earth.

Finally, this is the story of adoption. For us, it is simply the story of meeting a baby boy named Tesfamariam, and our lives not being the same since.