The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.

Monday, May 23, 2011

32 Months...To Count Or Not To Count

I've been debating whether or not to continue counting the number of months since our file arrived in Ethiopia. After hitting such a monumental milestone as a referral, would it be counter-productive or ineffective to "dwell" on such an arduous wait as ours. Or, after hitting such a monumental milestone as a referral, would it be motivating to press on and continue to count as we look back at how far we've come.

A menial waste of time perhaps, to spend time thinking about details such as these through such a life-changing journey, but it's already been done. And I don't think it's time wasted. It's all part of the process.

And I think as part of the process, I'm going to shelve this book in the volume of our journey. Not forgetting the ebb and flow, ache and elation, desperation and joy but rather moving on to the next phase.

So here we go. Two and a half weeks into the new phase of our journey. I don't know if I'd say it's harder but simply a different hard. There is no easier level of hard.

There was no face before. Now there's a face, a name, an age, a story...a life.

And the reality and direct reports of orphanage life set in. And the reality of that is scary. And the reality of trusting God in this is really really hard. And truthfully I am warding off panic and seeking to rest in grace and truth. And now all I want to do is be there, supporting, supplying, and making sure she is okay.

So we wait and continue to pray and trust in God's provision for His children. And while we know court pre-closure is possible, it won't be certain until that call on that day when our world will change once again and instead of counting up...we'll be counting down.

Oh - I cannot wait to count down.

1 comment:

FTD said... could also count how many months old she is :)
Looking forward to 'the' countdown!