Timely

It seems timely that one year to the day, an article is posted about the ongoing investigation of the Imagine bankruptcy. November 30, 2009 it was confirmed that a sufficient number of families had coughed up sufficient funds to ensure a viable agency. One year ago. Wow.

The investigation is still ongoing...

Fraud probe continues into bankrupt Imagine Adoption

November 30, 2010

BY BRIAN CALDWELL, RECORD STAFF

CAMBRIDGE — Fraud investigators are still sifting through documents more than 16 months after an international adoption agency went bankrupt.

“I wish I could, but at this point in time I can’t commit to when we’re going to be completed the investigation,” said Staff Sgt. Dale Roe, head of the Waterloo Regional Police fraud branch. “We are making progress.”

The collapse of Imagine Adoption in July 2009 shocked more than 400 Canadian families hoping to adopt children from overseas, primarily Ethiopia.

Police began probing the Cambridge agency after allegations surfaced of six-figure salaries, leased luxury vehicles and more than $300,000 in suspect expenses charged by senior executives Susan and Rick Hayhow.

Included in the expenses were a horse and saddle, cosmetic dental surgery, trips to Disney World and New York City, and extensive renovations at the couple’s Cambridge house.

Roe said the “quite active” investigation involves one local officer and a member of the RCMP.

“It’s just a complex, long investigation and there is a lot of paperwork to go through,” he said.

In a court document used to obtain financial records for the non-profit agency, police alleged that credit cards were used for personal expenses, senior staff overpaid themselves and “excessive funds” were transferred to Ethiopia.

Susan Hayhow, the executive director, and Rick Hayhow, the chief financial officer, have not commented publicly since the Christian agency went bust.

The couple separated about four months before the bankruptcy. Rick Hayhow resigned and was given a year’s pay as severance without approval by the agency’s board of directors.

Two board members were alarmed after discovering the deal. They began scrutinizing the agency’s finances and went to police with their findings.

After months of turmoil, a majority of clients voted to salvage the agency with a new board and much smaller staff.

Families paid an extra $4,000 each – on top of previous fees of $15,000 or more – to put the agency on solid financial ground. Adoptions have since resumed.

Photo Friday

Another day of snow.

Another morning of fun.

Another bank of memories for the iphoto files.

Another couple referrals.

Another request for mega-prayer. (Yes, I think I will now officially hyphenate it. There are only a few before us with our exact request.)

A first USA Thanksgiving Supper. (It didn't disappoint.)

Another set of firsts...

{okay boys, you can only eat the snow if it's clean and no one has walked in it.

and only eat it if it's white}

{noah! noah did you know that snow turns in to water noah?! let's take some inside in our cups and then put it in tucker's water bowl for him okay, noah?!}

i seriously, seriously love these boys

Why Wouldn't I?

Picked this little gem up from Amharic Kids and thought it was well worth sharing.

It makes my silly, (earthly) comments like, "oh, we're getting older" or "the age gap is bigger than I ever thought" and "I don't think I can wait another day" and finally "is this really God's will for our life" seem like no brainer, superficially selfish questions, comments, and thoughts.

Seriously, why wouldn't I...why wouldn't we!

26 Months

It seems appropriate on the day we hit twenty-six months DTE, to share a few words passed along to me several months ago from a good friend. I'd give credit to an author, if I knew who he/she was but here it is...enjoy, peruse, take a moment, seek faith in all this unknown.

Just Push

A man was sleeping one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light, and God appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might...

So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sunup to sundown, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of teh unmoving rock, pushing with all his might!

Each night the name returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan) decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man's weary mind: (He will do it every time!).

"You have been pushing against that rock for a long time and it hasn't moved." Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man.

Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving jut the minimum effort; and that will be good enough."

That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord.

"Lord," he said, "I have laboured long and hard in Your Service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimetre. What is wrong? Why am I failing?"

The Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done.

Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed.

But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back shiny and brown; your hands are callused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard.

Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock.

May our rock soon be moved. May we persevere and build strength in obedience.

May you find some peace in this today, as I have.

Snow. West Coast Style.

Last night we lost power.

Three? Or was it four times? The longest stretch happened for about four hours, starting around 7:30am which was fine with me as the jog had been enjoyed (treadmill, people!) and the daylight had just blessed us with it's presence.

And, for the first time in his wee life this three year old enjoyed the snow. In years past there's not been enough to actually. play. in! And, the year it came down in abundance (2008), he was sicker than any dog I've ever seen.

He. Was. Excited.

Jammies under snow gear was the order of the morning.

And we were excited for him.

And they made the most of it.

Making snow angels.

And we had a wonderful Saturday morning, playing as a family in the snow.

Riding the sleigh left by previous owners. Laughing, giggling, chuckling, being.

Building our own Frosty - carrot (stick) nose and all.

And it was perfect.

And after? The first ever (in our house) hot chocolate...heated on the woodstove of course...how else would one heat water in a powerless house?

Our Saturday was different than we anticipated - but we never could have planned for this.

Do You Believe In The Tooth Fairy?

Lunch

Lunch deviated from the norm today. It would usually be comprised of at least three or more likely four of the following: bread, bananas, apples, peanut butter. (You'd be surprised how many ways these can be thrown together.)

Today however, I was feeling creative. Perhaps it was the rain outside, making me go squirrelly inside. Perhaps it was simply not wanting to suppress any sort of creativity that could possibly burst forth. And, while blood curdling shrieks of opposition can usually be heard across the country if there is some deviation from the expected lunch menu, hopes of a serious wow! factor led this Mama to hold fast to the thought that maybe, just maybe this would be a welcome change.

I'd hesitantly suggest that presentation played a substantial role.

And with her back turned, what this Mama heard from the lips of one small three year old made her grin from ear to ear...

"Noah? Is this awesome Noah?!"

Yeah, I'm pretty awesome.

Emanation

It seems integral and necessary and just down right common sense to update the up which gracefully followed the down.

A referral.

A sweet small referral bumping us up one small slot on that often daunting list. Announced shortly after the ebb and flow, we can only hope it was and is a precursor of things to come. It was different than it's predecessors. The first from the new relationship, I believe.

Hearts still guarded we look ahead. More hopeful than yesterday, more guarded than ever. We look ahead. With anticipation and expectation. Confident in things to come. Assured of His will. We continue to look ahead. Yet, we remain content and thankful for the here and now.

Thanks for the prayers...they are needed, appreciated, sought in bucket-loads. (How's that for eloquence.)

Ebb And Flow

Some days are easier.

Some days are harder.

Some days there's a peace about the whole thing.

Some days I'd like to give some one a piece of my mind about the whole thing.

Today would be a harder day.

May tomorrow emanate with easier.

People Of the Omo Valley

Check this guy out, and enjoy his clip below...via Amharic Kids (which rocks, by the way - I gotta get their hat).

Faces of a Vanishing World: Official Trailer from Joey L on Vimeo.

Get Crackin'

Thursday, we enjoyed a quiet morning as family. Together on a usual hustle and bustle day, starting off slowly together was blessed, indeed.

Before heading out to remember, honour, to stop and give thanks those who have fallen and who continue to serve, we mixed it up a little.

I'm no short order cook but one food, three different ways, all executed simultaneously felt like a bit of a challenge to this multi-tasking mama...and so, it was.

(i think a recipe for the pumpkin muffins in the background

- which went over soooo well -

should be a feature later this week, don't you?)

Our morning together. Our time to honour together. A time to simply be.

(okay, not everyone requested the same food)

Itty Bitty Heroes

For your viewing pleasure...a peak into last night's fun at our place.

Internationally Speaking

I was asked how "that adoption thing" is going again today. And, while one would think the question could begin to eat away at a girl, I found myself oddly letting the words, explanation, verbal diarrhea simply roll off my tongue. The question(s) come my way, (as they possibly do yours) about as often as the subject of the weather...the kids' most recent phase...or this week's episode of Grey's.

And, while it's uncommon for adoption (ah hem: our adoption) not to be on my brain, I have been giving it a bit more mental energy rather than emotional, lately. As an aside, I would like to say that while being female rocks most of the time, there are the infinite moments each day when I wish I didn't have the "spaghetti" brain but rather the "blocks" brain. To compartmentalize and focus on but one or two things at a time would be bliss. But no, I'm stuck with synapses that are constantly firing on what seems like all cylinders - and all at once. Always. It must look like the Canada Day fireworks at Kits Beach or something.

I digress.

Progressing and digesting our current state of affairs mentally, coupled with the meltdown - which I think I should clarify: was initiated by absolutely nothing - but thank you for your heartfelt emails...I seriously have the kindest most genuinely caring and prayerful friends near and far - has brought about some interesting (very logical) conclusions. The singleton trends report which was sent to waiting families a couple of weeks ago likely also impacted my train of thought.

When we started our journey in, say it with me: March 2008, the Ethiopia program was new-ish. It was quick. It was relatively straight forward. It was what a Mama-in-waiting could hope for. Short waits. Young babes. (Relatively) healthy. Smooth process. No big red flags. Growing support groups. Ethiopian (adoptive) communities popping up all over the map. Successful by most definitions thus far. No, not perfect - successful nonetheless.

Fast forward through many months of waiting, followed by one gut-wrenching bankruptcy, continue along through a seemingly lengthy (though not really) restructuring process, followed by several referrals and then all sorts of "stuff" hitting the fan.

And while from one month to the next, it seems that if it's not one problem it's another...

• regional bans
• a contracted orphanage not referring children but being supported hugely financially
• federal courts requiring a court appearance by APs, therefore imposing a second trip policy
• immigration scrutiny and investigations
• more referral slowdowns
• etc

(Yes, I feel the et cetera deserves a bullet all on it's own.)

...I am coming to realize something that perhaps most if not at least many of you have already come to realize that in it's most pure and raw form

This. Is. International. Adoption.

"It's not for the faint of heart"

"It's a tough journey"

"There are neither certainties nor guarantees...and there are so many unknowns"

"You never know how long it could take"

"Expect the unexpected"

If I had a nickel for every time I'd been fed one of the above lines...well, I'd likely have enough for at least two court trip return flights.

I digress. Again.

I am realizing - and it's an ongoing, day-to-day, often uphill journey and battle - that this is now the Ethiopia program. It is as 100% "international adoption" as it gets. Some struggles are harder, some easier but this is what "not being faint of heart" looks like from one moment to the next. Painful yet worth it. Heart-wrenchingly uncontrollable though life-changingly sweet.

This is the journey into which we are now needing to morph our current paradigms. Like it or not, the reality is that we're in the land of true international adoption, where the only certainty is uncertainty and the only constant is likely to be change.

And to stick it out, to make it to the goal, to complete our family, and realize the wait will be worth it a million times over, we - I - need to accept the reality of the Ethiopia program and all that it now entails. Not in our time but in the right time. And, we will make it.

We will hold our child and she will be ours.

And grasping all this, digesting it mentally instead of having it continue to gurgle in the pit of emotion, somehow makes it slightly less painful a pill to swallow from one day to the next.

I am certain though that before that reality of holding her is upon us, there will be more ups and certainly more downs...and I guess at the end of the day, I need to realize those are the realities of what will make this journey so very sweet.

2009 Adoption Stats

For your interest and all those inquiring minds...CIC's most recent International Adoption Stats.

May 2011 be the year we make the cut and become a small slice of the pie.

I Have Never...

Let's play a little game, shall we? You've likely heard of it...though I'm certainly not going to play it in it's most raw form.

The name of this morning's game is, "I Have Never" and if you have _____ (fill-in-the-blank) then you must succumb whatever consequence is at stake. We play it at our staff retreat annually and honestly it gets slightly violent and certainly comical, if nothing else. It's a simple way to get to know others, to embarrass others and get the adrenaline pumping. My version's not that left field, but it's good for a smile.

I have never...

• purchased a pumpkin before halloween in plenty of time to carve it, knowing full well I never intended to do such a thing

• driven past said pumpkin while entering/exiting garage several times daily, only to notice small holes appearing around said pumpkin...all the while doing nothing to further investigate
• waited over a week past halloween to fully investigate and realize birds to be the hole-creating culprits...hmmm, glad to realize we can nutritionally support our local wildlife
• removed pecked-at-pumkin from front step at request of one small three year old, only to bring it inside and allow him to (help) gut it with nothing less than an ice cream scoop, his fork, pizza cutter, and cleaver...yes, I just said cleaver - as in meat cleaver. Oh watever, just keep scrolling.

I have never...

• been so desperate for the flavour of some deliciously imported Archer Farms Fair Trade Organic flavoured coffee that I...upon realizing there were no unused filters left in our abode, would remove the used paper filter from this morning's pot, dump used grinds, rinse said filter, and re-use it. (Yes, we really should invest in a re-usable one.)

Don't judge. Just enjoy maybe a small smile on my behalf.

I have never...

• had such a meltdown (you know, the post-day-puffy-eyed kind) over one adoption, only to feel all the more strong for it at the end. Though one would imagine such an "episode" to drain one small, tired, pre-adoptive, ever-waiting parent, it actually brought out the Mama-Bear. And if the Fight or Flight instinct were ever evident, it would have been during those harsh moments. I will not be torn down. I WILL KEEP FIGHTING. Don't ever, ever, ever get between a mother and her child. You. Will. Lose. Every time.

More serious conversationing (oh, who am I kidding - monologuing) on the above moments to follow.