So yes, we know timelines but I want to more fully know timelines. Feel free to disagree with me or believe I am grasping at straws but it ain't gonna change how I feel.
So, what's a girl to do? What's a family to do to find hope, seek anticipation (again), and fill the yearning for completion?
After receiving an email reply from Imagine that, while a referral by Christmas isn't impossible it certainly is not imminent, I felt lead to action. I grow restless, weary, anxious, irritable, and any other synonym similar to the above, when I feel that my hands are tied but yet there is something I should or could be doing.
However, (and you had to know that was coming!) we serve a Great. Big. God. And so we are praying. And there are so many others who are praying for us. (We don't take one single prayer or pray-er for granted.) And we know that He hears our cries. And I'm not saying this means His timing will be our timing but we also know that He aches for the orphans and He has a plan for us.
We've been thinking and praying and wondering for awhile, what to do. Our kids are growing (what a concept eh) and getting older by the day...us too. And, while we're not using our walkers yet, we would hope not to have to do so by the time we need to get on that plane.
On Wednesday we increased our age request.
Not an earth shattering, life changing (uh, actually we hope it will be life changing!) increase but enough that we are both comfortable, we've opened up a slightly greater window of opportunity, and with where our family dynamics currently reside, we feel it's best.
And I am excited...ummm, maybe that's a bit of overkill...I'm encouraged.
I don't know why but this feeling of hope is rumbling up inside...perhaps it is the ache, desire, and longing of my heart. Maybe, just maybe it is something More. It's odd, as our increase isn't huge to say the least, but it's given me a little extra bounce in my step...which I don't actually believe is 'just' a bounce. It is possible that it is affirmation of our most recent open mindedness. We'll see.
Being the ornery one that I am, and seeking affirmation that this wasn't just done on a whim I investigated the possibility of our decision before of course, diving in head first.
We both needed to be comfortable. Check.
I wanted reassurance from Imagine that while it wouldn't create monumental shrieks from the mountain top, any increase is of course helpful. Check.
What would the (local agency) financial implications be? This was huge to us, as we just forked out around five hundred smackers for our two year update. We weren't in to shelling out another several hundred for a ridiculous piece of paper...which is what I was hearing the cost to be, through other agencies via families who have done the same thing.
So, nervously I called our local agency to inquire...
...and hello! It's free. Big.Fat.Whopping.Check.
Two hours later the forms are updated and filled out, emailed to me, printed out in triplicate, signed by us, sealed, stamped and out the door. Imagine should have the change at the first of next week.
And I have been encouraged by several things this week...one of which was an email from a new friend whom I hope to meet some day and who I have quickly (!) learned to be faithful to the core and wise beyond her years. *She confirmed:
There is a little Keizer Girl in Africa that God has chosen for your family
(*she is about to go bring hers home!)
So, there you have it...nothing is constant but change.
Change is often good.
Change can bring great things.
I believe change has brought renewed hope and anticipation and the reminder that we cannot limit God or put him in a box. All things happen with reason and for a reason.
Here we go again.