The Joy In A Sadness-Filled Conversation

We spent an awesomely warm time at the beach yesterday morning. The sun was soothing, calming, and this was amplified in our little bay. No wind, just heat. It felt closer to the summer for the hour we were down there.

On our way home we passed through a piece of the camp's property, not on the main site. We have new friends/staff who have moved in and they have a little girl between the boys' age...and one on the way.

Noah and I talked about this on the way home. Our new friend's Mama will have a baby in the summer.

Noah: "Where will she come from, Mama?"

Me: "She will come from Danika's Mama's tummy"

Noah: "Will she not come from Eth...E...Ethio...pia?"

Me: "No. Remember bud, most boys and girls' Mama grow babies in their tummies, just your baby sister will come all the way from there. That's part of the reason it takes so long for her to come live with us. She is very very far away right now."

- Is she even born?! I'm thinking to myself -

Noah: "Well, why is she over there...where is her Mama?"

This is the hard part. I tell my heart, I need to answer him truthfully yet at a 3 yr old level. With joy and happiness. Turn tragedy into truthful blessed happiness in one breath. As simply as I can for now. Make it personal and relate it to lessons we try to teach the boys daily, I think. That always helps the answers stick. (Fortunately, we don't have to start way back at square one and debunk the Stork Myth but still...this is quite the concept.) We always emphasize how fortunate and blessed we are to have many things and how many boys and girls do not have food or toys or clothes...how important it is to be thankful for what we do have and not whine for more, because so many children don't have nearly as much as we do...so I try that angle.

Me: "Well, your baby sister will come from her Mama's tummy in Ethiopia but remember how not all children have as much as us? Daddy works partly so we can have money for groceries and clothes but some Mamas and Daddies don't have as much money for this."

Noah: "Uh huh."

Me: "Well, even though your baby sister's Mama loves her very very much she cannot take care of her because she probably doesn't have as much money as we do. That doesn't mean she doesn't want her or love her."

Noah: "Oh."

Me: "So, I don't think she will be able to take care of her with clothes and food like we will. Her Mama in Ethiopia loves her so so much but that doesn't always mean that Mamas can take really really good care of their babies."

Noah: "Okay."

Me: "So she will come and live with us forever and be your baby sister and we will be so so so lucky to have her with us. And we will be a family forever."

Noah: "Yes Mama. Is our baby sister coming soon?"