Press Releases

Each day I take the privilege of becoming a(n) (adoptive) parent as more and more of just that:

Privilege

Each day another Road Block (or at least Speed Bump) seems to pop out of nowhere, I realize it isn't a Right. By "it" I mean parenting. I realize it isn't something we should assume we have earned. It isn't something that should come all that easily.

Adoptive parenting (or at least trying to attain it) is definitely no exception. I would venture to say the path is even more winding.

That said, there are many days when I wish it would come a little easier. We looked into the reputation of our agency and facilitator. We made sure they both met the criteria we were supposed to look for in a legal representative. They were both well established...for quite some time. They were both non-profit, meaning they aren't in the business of adoption for the money but rather the best interest of the child, and all children. Word of mouth from those who had used them was important. Of course they had to be certified...credentials were important. The list goes on and on but you get the point.

When it came to choosing our facilitator we had the choice between two and we chose the one we are still working with. I won't bore you with the details of how we came to that decision. Suffice to say that literally a day doesn't go by that I am not thankful for this organization. And, probably a week doesn't go by when I don't voice this confidence and contentment to Ben.

Monday morning I opened my inbox as I usually do early in the morning while it's still quiet(ish) around our house. It was still dark outside - though the snow brightened everything a little. And as most of us do, I hoped to start my week on a good foot.

My inbox contained an email from our facilitator which is often exciting...when you're in the adoption process, anything from your agency or facilitator is likely to give you butterflies, regardless of the fact that it could be nothing...so I clicked, "read".

The email explained that the CBC in Toronto is preparing to air a program which will highlight some unfortunate allegations between a Canadian Adoptive family and their Ethiopian child's ties to her biological family. This event will be televised nationally sometime near the end of this month. Unfortunately, we do not know when. Our agency requested CBC reconsider this story and understand the huge ramifications a single family's experience could have on many of us. It doesn't look like the CBC listened.

I am hugely concerned with this because, while our facilitator was not in any way involved with this family or their experience, a blanket will likely be placed on all Canadian Adoptive families, adopting from Ethiopia. It will likely raise concern among the Ethiopian government and who knows what spin-off could ensue.

Further to my concern, I am upset. I voiced this on an online board of cohorts yesterday and for the most part, surprisingly was not well received. If a family has had a poor experience, if several families have had poor experiences I think it would be such a shame for all the rest of the Canadian adoptive community to suffer the consequences - whatever they may be. Furthermore I think it would be really tragic if not only the lives of all us families who have worked so hard to be now officially waiting but also the the orphans - our future children, were to be punished. There are dozens who have not chosen the agency/facilitator involved - yet we would fall under this same blanket...Canadian Adoptive Parents of Ethiopian Children.

There are many ways to deal with mistreatment. There are many ways to rectify or at least seek to rectify difficult (legal) situations. It's such a shame these families feel media is the best route.

And, while our agency is hopeful that those of us who have signed on with them will not be affected. There are a great number of unknowns until this nationally broadcasted program airs. I know this process is growing me hugely. I know that actually, it's not about me at all. But, if our daughter could just be home, soon, I would be so greatful.

I'll be praying...huge...specific prayers...maybe you could too?