Touched By ... A Bake Sale

I just received an email from a friend telling me about a Bake Sale someone else in our church just held to raise funds for "Baby Keizer". I went to her facebook to check out what I thought was going to be a picture of someone with a table of goodies.


What I found was 55 pictures posted with a bunch of our Warmland kids and their parents, using sidewalk chalk and other homemade signage to advertise the Bake Sale they were holding on a busy Crofton Corner.

I am touched as I had no idea this was going on. I wouldn't have known if I hadn't been told about these pictures. These kids, some of whom I know, some of whom I only recognize and know their name, (they don't necessarily even know who the Keizer family is...what adoption means...or where the heck Ethiopia is) are working towards a goal. They know it's important. They know it's bigger than us & bigger than them...and...with the help of their Super Mums (!) they are helping us, one brownie, one cookie, and one rice crispy treat at a time, to bring Baby Keizer home.

Homestudy Complete: Check

Well, that may not be completely true. We do not yet have the "red stamp" of approval on our Homestudy, deeming us to be fit parents. However, we completed our 8th and final interview in our Homestudy on Tuesday night.

Enter chorus: HALLELUJAH

This was either the toughest or tied for first (along with interview 7) as the toughest interview. It was 9 pages, riddled with lengthy questions requiring very lengthy answers. Homestudy interviews must legally be 2 weeks apart and may last no longer than 2 hours at any given time. We were told that other families must take 2 interviews to complete it. We finished with 6 minutes to spare. I kid you not.

A very minor part of the interview was discussing the "type" of child we would like. This is not something to be taken lightly and it is just a strange sort of thing to do. It felt very artificial, as if I was walking down the aisle at Superstore and had to chose between the different types of cereals. Except that this is a priceless human life.

1. Would you accept a child with Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Epilepsy, Diabetes, FAS, FAE, Schizophrenia.
2. Would you accept a child who is a product of Rape, Incest, Illegitimacy, Teen Pregnancy.
3. Would you accept a child who may have been subjected to Drugs (heroine, cocaine, etc) while in utero.
4. Would you like to request a gender.
5. Would you like to request an age.

...and the list continued. Initially, as I was warned about this "shopping cart" interview, I felt guilty. Am I closed minded to not want a child with even mild Down Syndrome? Would I not be open to a child who only has Fetal Alcohol Effects and not Sydrome? (We are fortunate that Ethiopia is such a poor country that in Addis Ababa only 0.1% females and 1.8% males drink alcohol...and the percentages are lower in rural areas.) We reminded ourselves, however, that it would not be fair to Noah, Tait, or our child-to-be to take on more than we can handle. We do not feel equipped to offer ourselves in any greater capacity than to a child who is "as healthy as possible".

And besides, I have faith in knowing that there is a little one out there (born or not) who is meant for us...and we are meant for her. This was pre-destined a long time ago.

So there you have it. 3 or so weeks and we'll read through our homestudy and then hopefully just WAIT....and allow the excitment and anticipation to build.

Sweetness Personified

As I was prepping for the yard sale last week, a friend offered to take the boys for the morning. Lola has two little girls, Anna Kate is 2 and Alberta is nearly 5 months.

At the end of her nap the kids all piled in and around Alberta's crib. Noah hopped in. After a few minutes, Noah engaged in a series of questions with Lola about Alberta's origins. It went something like this:

N: Lola, where is Alberta from?

L: From my tummy.

N: No, where did she come from?

L: She came from inside my tummy.

Noah turns to Alberta, both still in the crib.

N: You came from Epiopia.

Out of the mouths of babes, I tell ya.

"Will She Like Us, Mama?"

That's what Noah asked me the other night after our Adoption Fundraising Yard Sale. We had a very successful day and raised more than I had prayed specifically for. There is still are few dollars here and there trickling in but we raised over $1750! It was very exciting and affirming to have so many friends supporting us.

On Saturday evening the boys are I were sitting down to supper. I wandered over to the kitchen to grab something and as I was doing so Noah, out of the blue asked, "Mama, do you think our baby sister will like us?". (Insert "awwww" here.) I think my heart may have melted in that instant. "Yes bud, I think she will love us very very much." Such deep, kind thoughts and questions for such a little boy. It's so thought-provoking, some of the things that pass through the minds of little ones. Maybe we think them but our self-esteem, or concern of social acceptance doesn't allow us to voice them. Maybe, as I have, we just assume our children will love us. What other option is there. How remarkable that a 3 year old would wonder if the sister he has never met (who may not be born) will even like him. His sweetness and thoughtfulness is often mature beyond his years.

I will save the next "baby sister" story for tomorrow.

Summer Fun For Little Boys

As with all summers, we're of course busy! But, we've had a few little adventures, parties, and laughs so far...and thought we'd share the love with our faithful readers. Even the backyard seems more fun this year, as Tait is no longer a blob (sorry buddy) and can run around. Noah calls the backyard, our field. "Can I play in the field with no shoes on, Mama?" he'll often ask.
It's a treat to run around barefoot in the grass as I am the mean Mum at camp who makes her kids keep their shoes on. My Mum was the mean one too and I figure I turned out ok so why not follow in her footsteps. Ha ha.



Tait, while not really talking much yet, can definitely sign a few words and is very familiar with 'NO', which sort of sounds like "NEW" but accompanied by a vigorously shaking head and there's no mistaking it. "Ha Da" with a wave is "Hi ____" (fill-in-your-name). It's quite cute as he keeps his arm still and moves his hand back and forth...some friends joke that it is his royal wave. The other phrase, now decipherable is, "Uh Duh" which is code for "I understand". Funny, you always think your kids first words will be Mama, Daddy, dog, etc...not "I understand." He's quite the character.
We had our 7th of 8 homestudy interviews last week. By far, it was the most challenging. However, we're close to the end of this leg of the journey. Our papers are alllllll notarized and our agency pretty much has everything else from us that they need.
We are holding a HUGE Yard Sale this Saturday (19th for anyone who lives close). We've been very encouraged by the amount of stuff people have donated. Everything from a large (newish) TV, to a crib, bikes, glass shelving units, sewing machines, etc. All purchases will be by donation and we're having a bake sale organized by a fantastic person at our church. Now, let the sorting begin! (This part is a little daunting.)
Enjoy the pictures!

The Girl Effect

Three Little Words

I have been struggling a bit lately with why I feel so passionate about adoption; specifically from an impoverished country. I know why in my heart, but sometimes thoughts can be impossible to put into words.

a) Why is fostering a child for $1 a day not enough?

b) Why is there this heart-wrenching desire, this lump-in-my-throat need, to actually change the future of our family? (Our grand-children will likely be biracial, some play groups we attend will likely be comprised of both biological and adopted children, our boys will be confronted at school with questions they would not otherwise have given a second thought, and our family will take on a new dynamic.)

c) Why can I not be satisfied with purchasing a chicken, a goat, or heck a whole farmyard of animals to support a village somewhere far off each Christmas?

And the list continues.

While those are all good, genuinely giving (and necessary!) things to do, it just doesn't sit well in the "I've done all I can" part of me. While reading an article the other day (posted below, also) three little words hit me. That was it. Those three words resonated as "the reason" this is why we have been called to do what we are doing and following this passion:

BREAKING THE CYCLE

We get to change the outcome of one family's generations to come. This child will not have to worry about the possibility (likelihood) of being kidnapped for marriage...and I use the word 'kidnap' because she would probably be about 11-13 yrs old...just a kid.

She will not ever have to think of where her next meal will come from...or if there will be a next meal. She will have the comforts of two loving parents and brothers, a bed in her own room with a solid roof over her head. Everyday.

I don't think the world is a fair place. I don't think that this is the path we should all rush out and pursue. I do, however, know that we are blessed. Blessed by the fact that we have been born into a society where even the poor are rich, where we choose who and when we will marry, that we love who we marry, that we determine the "right" time to start our family - and that our family is born out of love. We are blessed by the opportunity to change a generation and we will follow this journey to it's completion.

And, completion will be so sweet.

Oh Canada

We hope everyone enjoys a festive, warm, sunny Canada Day!
















Hieee Canada!












Thumbs up for Canadians everywhere.

Is It Ethical To Pay Up To $40,000 For An International Adoption: The ABBA Fund

We have a friend down in the States who works for an organization that offers interest-free loans (did you know there was such a thing?!) for adoptions. He also writes a blog called The ABBA Fund blog. It is really informative and I love that it is frequently updated.

The current topic (a 4 part entry/debate) addresses the topic of whether it is ethical to pay large sums of money for international adoptions. Jason says that a year ago he would have argued that no, we should adopt within our own country as there are so many kids in "the system" right now. However, his heart has been changed as of late and I think his arguments are extremelly thought-provoking...not to mention informative.

Here are a few lines from Part 4 of his argument:

"But $40,000 could save an entire village! Wouldn’t that be what Jesus would do, rather than take one child out of his family and culture?

If a child is in an orphanage his family is not willing or capable of taking care of him. He could remain where he is at and stay within his culture but we need to look at what the implications of that would be. The first thing I think of is the personal story of Solomon that I posted here. Solomon is an orphan in the Kolfe Boys orphanage in Ethiopia. Within the next year he will turn 18 and will be let out of the orphanage with $400. He will be alone with no one to care for him and no one to help him. His culture will provide barely any benefit to him outside those orphanage walls. In many countries orphans are seen as members of the lowest social class (along with beggars, prostitutes, the homeless, crippled, etc) and therefore face many hostilities the rest of their lives. A friend of mine said, by adopting these orphans, “We are not just helping one child. We are breaking a cycle of GENERATIONS of poverty, girls have no choice but prostitution, boys having to live a life of crime on the streets, having no chance at education and therefore an “out” to poverty, more orphans resulting from that poverty, and on and on.”"

I would really encourage you to read Parts 1-3 and also to visit his blog.

Brotherly Love. Growing Up Together

I love watching the boys become closer and closer friends as they grow up.
Here are a few recent shots.



Fun at the camp



They've started sharing a room...
some nights it works well...
and other nights...well...
it's cramped.

Racism Prevalence...The Silent Truth

As I read more and more on transracial (or inter-racial) adoption, I come across many articles discussing the "unspoken racism" around North America, specifically. While we wish to teach our children that everyone is equal and no one is "better" than anyone else, our actions of course speak louder than our words. I am constantly surprised to listen as Noah mimicks a gesture or repeats a phrase I recently mumbled. His eyes roll back in his head when Tait's done something he is not supposed to, as if to say "oh no, not again"! Or, "you're not getting down 'till you're done Mister"! Yikes! What else is he picking up from us.

We talk about our "baby sister" who is coming from far away. We talk about how it will take a long time to get her here. Last night Ben and I went out on a date and when I told Noah we would be going out and he and Tait would stay home w/ friends he asked me, "to have a meeting about our baby seester?". Wow.

So now my question is, what will the boys think when she finally arrives and her skin is different. We do our best to teach them that just because someone is smaller, bigger, has different colour hair (or skin!) they are our friend. But how are we, as parents modeling this? Our boys do not play with dolls and their cars are all different colours but somehow I don't think this counts. How are we modeling the acceptance, appreciation, and respect for people who do not look exactly the same as us? Something to think about. Something to work on.

I just read an article from a site/blog I have been frequenting called "Anti-Racist Parent". Enjoy some excerpts from the article below, written by Natasha Sky.

"Here’s a real-life parallel example: a site that hosts pre-adoptive parent profiles*, families waiting for domestic–usually infant–adoption (NOTE: this site only accepts heterosexual, married couples–and most are Christian as well). Of the hundreds of currently listed waiting families:

• 88% would ‘accept’ a White baby
• 33% would ‘accept’ a South American or Hispanic baby
• 28% would ‘accept’ an Asian baby
• 26% would ‘accept’ a Native American baby
• 14% would ‘accept’ a Black baby

I ran these same stats for an article I wrote two years ago, and the numbers were just about the same. For biracial babies (White/____) the numbers of families willing to ‘accept’ a child rises. Adoptive parents still think raising a part-White biracial child will be easier, less complicated, than raising a ‘full’ (for example) African American child. (Ha!)

There are also the corollary international adoption statistics. The top 10 ’sending’ countries for 2006 provided U.S. families with 18,290 new children through international adoption. By region of the world, these children are from:

• 43% from Asia (China, Korea, India)
• 26% from Eastern Europe (Russia, Kazakhstan, Ukraine)
• 24% from Central and South America (Guatemala, Colombia)
• 7% from Africa (Ethiopia, Liberia)

* NOTE: Finding accurate statistics for domestic adoption is impossible. Statistics are collected for almost all states for foster care adoption, but infant adoption is regulated by individual states, and neither states nor the federal government collect these statistics."

The blog and it's stats and info are American but you get the point.

Privilege & Responsibility

Courtesy of Natasha Sky:

I do not want my kids to grow up thinking they are simply ‘lucky’ and other kids are ‘unlucky’. It’s definitely not that simple. There are individual and institutional daily choices being made (as they have been for hundreds of years) that consistently privilege certain groups of people above others. People are privileged based on race (both perceived and actual), skin tone, gender, sexuality, religion, income, education, marital status, and physical ability, to name some of the most common factors.

I believe those of us who find ourselves more privileged in this world do owe something to those who are less privileged. I often wonder what would happen if we each did all we could for those who–for whatever reasons–have less privilege today than we do. What does true activism look like? Is it enough to speak out against offensive jokes and comments, to be an anti-racist parent, and to purchase a cartful of groceries for the food-shelf once a month? Can I expect the world to change if I am not working towards that change myself? Can I expect someone else to step up and do something I myself am unwilling to do?

Happy 3rd Birthday Noah

Well, there it is. My youngest is 3. He gets more and more thoughtful everyday...and he mimicks me more and more everyday...this is not always a good thing. Overall, Noah has the sweetest disposition I think a toddler could have...biased maybe?

We were shoveling bark mulch yesterday, me with the big shovel and Noah with his tiny hand held "tonka" shovel. "Tanx for helping, Mama. You're doing good work," he would say, periodically. No problem, bud.

The theme this year was Cars.
Noah is slightly obsessed (as I hear many boys his age are,)
with tiny cars. I would say he cashed in. Our friend,
Tracy created the most incredible of cakes and the look on Noah's face when he saw the "Mator" that he would soon be allowed to eat was priceless.

Open House 2008

Yesterday was a big day in the Keizer household. I gave Tait his first haircut...bye bye curls...and...

Qwanoes had it's annual Open House. Typically the weather is inclement but yesterday was the exception! It was incredible. Attendance around 1200, people were spread out as far as we could see. In a way it reminded me of Disneyland w/ the happy "kiddies noises". One friend bravely brought her 3 kids (around 5yrs and under) by herself and her eldest, when he found out it was time to leave, started running away from her yelling, "I'm never going home!" I think that's hilarious.

The boys had a great time running around, playing with staff (a definite bonus in the summer!) and the 3 of us got our faces painted...ironically with a sun.

On the adoption front, I have my homestudy meeting w/ our social worker alone on Monday...and it will be our 6th one! Yay!!

Regrets

"We don't regret what we do in our life.

We regret what we don't do."

-Randy Pausch

So live your dreams, people.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9ya9BXClRw

Photos For African Orphans

My Dad was telling me about this photographer he read about lately, Grant Faint. Faint was originally recruited by the reknown company, Geddes Images. I believe he still works for them, however, he has another mission in mind.

Faint takes incredible (!!) photos of people, animals, scenery from the Americas, Europe, Africa, and Asia and he has posted the best and his favourites on his site. Here is what seals the deal: the cost is $49 for 1 photo (it's a huge photo), plus postage. But, the photos are sold by donation. The $49 is a guideline so you know the minimum cost of "production". If you want to pay more for a photo you can (and should!). And, while he does not state the cost of postage he does say that it is not included in the $49. He will actually eat the cost of postage if you do not pay it!!!

So, why not barely pay for the cost of the photo and then skip paying for postage. YOUR CONSCIENCE for one. The second reason is that 100% (yes people, 100%!) of the proceeds from each photo sold goes to Orphan Children in Tanzania. Now who does that nowadays? When everyone is out there to make an extra buck or two, this guy is giving it all back, (and then some) to these african children (who are likely happy spirited kids) who have lost their parents to aids.

www.grantfaint.com

I guess you don't have to actually be living in Africa to be an African Missionary.

Inspiration Through Tragedy

Ben just told me that since the death of Stephen Curtis Chapman's youngest adopted daughter, 5 year old Maria Sue, Shaohannah's Hope (the foundation established with the adoption of his first daughter) has raised $310,000. This money goes to families who are seeking the journey of adoption but cannot financially afford it. Thus far about 1,700 families have been given grants! How inspiring that such an overwhelmingly tragic event can bless others in such a life changing way. She passed away less than two weeks ago.

I would encourage you to visit Shaohannah's Hope (site). I would encourage you to listen to Stephen Curtis' newly released song, Cinderella Man (the extended version was released only a few days after Maria Sue's death). And, I would encourage you to give. In some small way, in whatever form it might take. Give.

Remembering Maria
"Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight, and she'll be gone."

Maria Sue Chapman, adopted and youngest daughter to Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapman, was killed in a tragic accident in the family driveway. She was LifeFlighted to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital, but for only reasons God can explain, she went home to Him on May 21, 2008. The Chapmans have set up Maria's Miracle Fund in memory and honor of little Maria Sue.

Sharing Our Story So Far

"We waste our lives when we do not pray and think and dream and plan and work toward magnifying god in all spheres of life"

- John Piper

We had the privilege of sharing our Adoption Journey thus far with our Warmland Church family and friends on Sunday. As Ben and I were preparing our short slideshow (which I hope to post soon!) as well as some "hard facts" and other tidbits about us and Ethiopia, we came across many adoption advocates. Isn't it interesting how there are things we want to say but it often seems we cannot find the "right" words. Then, we find a quote and everything seems so simple.

Please visit the link below and understand some of the joy that many families have experienced...it's what makes it all worth it!

http://www.imagineadoption.ca/testimony.html

PS: 4th Home Study Session completed yesterday...only 4 or 5 to go!

What We Take For Granted: Screening

So, I currently feel as though I fall somewhere between a Criminal and an Adoptive Applicant. Those of us who apply for adoption (internationally) truly do have to dot all of our "i"s and cross all of our "t"s. Each time we complete another step of this journey called adoption, we are reminded not to take our children for granted. We are reminded that there is no value great enough to be placed on the life of a human. For most of us, having a child is simple in so many ways. It's a one-step process (sorry to get so technical).
We had our fingerprints taken yesterday at our local RCMP office. We now have to mail them off to Ottawa to be scanned. OTTAWA!! I never had to call them when we wanted to have Noah or Tait. I never thought I would create some sort of link between CSI and my life!
Next week, we will go to our notary to have a bunch of papers certified. These will include copies of our Life Insurance. Life Insurance? Surely no one looked in our files to see what kind of policy we had before the birth of Noah in 2005.
We made mention of the red tape involved with international adoption to the officer taking our prints yesterday. I find it interesting how even those who have not directly experienced the miracle of adoption, but have helped those seeking to complete it are aware of it's pricelessness. "Oh, it will all be more than worth it when you hold that child in your arms for the first time" Phil (our RCMPer) reminded us.
Don't get me wrong. Though there are days when I just want to be done with this process, I find comfort in knowing that we (as a country and as parents) are not allowing "just anyone" to adopt. This tells me that in our world of processed and pre-packaged, of here-and-now syndrome, and of consumerism, there are some things that cannot simply be grabbed. There are things we cannot just "charge" and wait to find out the total cost on our next credit card statement. There is a value of inexplicable sorts placed on the life of a child...as there should be.
I wonder what our next "i" will be. I look forward to it.
The experience of parenthood and the journey to adoption, it is not a Right. It is not something we earn through good deeds and through being "nice" people. This experience truly is a Privilege.

Food Costs Strain Efforts To Save Starving Ethiopian Children

Ok, so we have all heard about the food shortages and increase in food costs all over the world. This is a situation which is, or will affect us all sooner or later. And, of course those living in Third World Countries especially, are facing serious crisis. Becoming closer and closer to our heart and our life is obviously Ethiopia. Ranked as the 5th poorest country in the world (it was ranked 164 out of 169 countries worldwide, I believe) it's people (read "children"!!) are understanding devastation in a way we never will.

While reading a CNN article about a small Ethiopian Village, "Egu Village" just a few moments ago, I was left with goose bumps:

"Ethiopia's Health Ministry, along with UNICEF, monitors the health of thousands of children [in Egu Village] but the number of areas they have been able to regularly visit has been cut in half this year...

UNICEF estimates that 6 million Ethiopian children under the age of 5 are at risk and that more than 120,000 have only about a month to live..."

So the question remains: What are we doing about it?